Dazed and Confused

When I was young, I believed in love. I believed there was nothing greater or more important than love. But you told me love won’t be enough. Love won’t pay the bills. Love won’t buy groceries or braces for the kids. Life would be hard, and love would not be enough. There would be sickness and health. There would be richer and poorer. There would be for better and for worse. And love would not be enough. There had to be more.

And I believed you.

So, when Love showed up and my heart exploded and my soul opened, I thought there had to be more. When I looked into the eyes of the one I had wished for with every birthday candle, every stray eye lash, or the rare shooting star, I thought there had to be more. When I looked at Love my heart wept and sang with joy, but I thought there had to be more. Because love wouldn’t pay the bills. I let Love walk out my door because I needed to find more.

I found more. Yes…there was love but it wasn’t the same. This new love was real, but it wasn’t what my soul searched for. But there was plenty of more. The bills were always paid. The cupboards were stocked and there would be braces for the kids. Yes, there was plenty of more. But it turns out more is not enough. More will never be enough.

If I could talk to my 22-year-old self I would tell her more is a lie. More will never be enough.

The only thing that will ever be enough is Love.